I was longing for Baby Chloe’s “Sleep through the night” Miracle, but now I realize to let Baby Chloe has a comfortable sleep is all I want at the very moment. I was terrified to see Baby Chloe stay so awake from 8pm last night to almost 7am this morning. Anxiety plus the Sleepiness kicked in that made last night a tense night for hubby and myself. We ended up quarrelling when both of us became restless due to lack of sleep.
What is going on with Baby Chloe? I would have guessed that her nose blocked and flams are troubling her which had obstructed from her sleep too. But, there is nothing much that I can for her? I tried the nasal spray on her and pat her back, but it doesn’t seem to work at all. I tried giving her warm water hoping to sooth her throat but ended up she got choked. What did I do wrong? How come I cannot get Baby Chloe to sleep? I am such a lousy mother I thought and burst into tears and pleaded Baby Chloe to go to sleep.
Finally, at about 5am, hubby was successfully put her to bed. Sadly, she was awaken startled and began to cry furiously. We didn’t understand what made her so petrified, must be a horrible nightmare I thought but hubby came in with an idea about spirits making the atmosphere eerie and also frustrating. Then I start to think, how could Baby Chloe has any horrifying nightmares since she is only 7 weeks old. Furthermore, I have never exposed anything that would actually make her startled so much.
It was so heart-breaking to see Baby Chloe cried and you couldn’t understand why is she crying? Of course eventually, I managed to calm her down and rock her to only half-asleep. Baby Chloe tends to jerk a lot after I put her down on her crib. I really wish that I can communicate with Baby Chloe and understand her needs so that she could have a peaceful sleep.
I have no more choice. Pediatricians are not my source to seek for assistance anymore. I am very very desperate!! I asked my grandma, I asked my mum, I asked my aunties what I can do to my Baby Chloe. I will try everything as long as I can calm my baby down and let her sleep without disturbance.
Even though I didn’t sleep the whole night, but when I think of Baby Chloe not getting her sleep and I became so awake. Since 7am this morning, I was looking at the clock tick tock tick tock hoping to it to tick to 10am where Carrefour opens for business. The clock struck 10am and I rushed to Carrefour with my maid. I bought a Sarong for Baby Chloe. Hubby was still at home by the time I reached home at 11am, and he fell sick due to lack of sleep and over-exhaustion. I also bought Pearl Powder from the Chinese Medicine Shop as my mum told me that by feeding Baby Chloe Pearl Powder might clear her flam and also keep her calm. Well again, I have to try it to make sure I can let Baby Sleep well tonight.
Baby Chloe didn’t like the Pearl Powder and refused to drink it, but I force into her mouth and make her swallow. At times, I even choked her. But, I really didn’t know what else I can do to help her? I teared when Baby Chloe howled, I am such a lousy mother that I cannot even take care of Baby Chloe properly. I cannot even make her sleep comfortably when she was yawning. I am very very lousy mother. I hate this feeling and it just makes me feel useless and guilty. I thought giving her breastmilk will make her the healthiest and happiest baby. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen at all. First, it was the blocked nose. Then, the rashes and now flam plus insomnia. Arghh…. Help me! Luckily, she is getting her sleep now, otherwise Iwill kill myself. :(
Darling Baby Chloe, Mama is sorry. Mama will try my best again.
1 comment:
hey, don't be so hard on yourself man. I mean i duno whether your a lousy mother or a good one but i think your trying your best and that's what counts, and that's what makes you a great mother. I know your trying to give your child the best but i think you shouldn't blame yourself because it's not like you did something and she reacted to that and got sick. I think Chloe's probably different you know, everyone is - just like how andrew sleeps in a mountain butt position when he was a kid.
For now, if nothing's wrong with her and the doctor says she's alright and healthy then it's jolly good. But just take note of things lo that might be useful as future guidance as she gets older. Like if she has a nose problem then be wary lo..or if she's not a good sleeper, then send her to lots of classes and activities, wear her out! hahaha joking la but that's a thought.
jie
Post a Comment