End of BM for Baby Clarisse

My BM is finally completely not coming back since yesterday. This is the end of the BM journey with my darling Clarisse. It is expected but yet still can't help to feel a little sad about ending this bond. This is a special bond that nothing can replace but Mama will promise darling Clarisse to love you as much. Love you, My Baby Clarisse.

Drag....Delay....Another Day

*Sigh* I know it sounds very stupid for me to continuing pumping today even though it is already not enough. I told myself on friday that "NO MORE PUMPING" but I ended up pumping on Saturday, Sunday & Today. It is so addictive...or rather Mama is very stubborn!!!

Saturday - 

I told myself..hiyah, it will be the very last time la. I will just bf Baby Clarisse and forget about the pumping. 

Sunday -

Hiyah.. (again) ..One last time la....one more feed la. 

Today - 

Don't know why, I picked up the Breast Pump and carried it with me to the office, and then automatically go to the pantry and start pumping again at the usual time.

Mama is crazy. I know it is not enough but just don't want to let go totally. Arghhh.....Stubborn!!!!!

Almost time to end my BF bond with Baby Clarisse

Baby Clarisse will be 6 months old by the end of the week. My BF plan is actually 6 months. But, I am starting to worry on how we can cope with Baby Clarisse in the night if we have to end the BF. Anyway, at this moment, it is no longer a matter of choice. 

My body seems to know that "TIME'S UP" or maybe I had unknowingly entered the "DUE DATE" into my brain stating that my bf is only 6 months. It was sad that after pumping closed to 35mins, I only managed to collect totally of 4 1/2 oz (NOT EVEN ONE FULL FEED). Geezz.. It is very difficult to accept the fact that I have to end this very special bond with my baby. Today, I tried pumping again, the same amount yield. It is definitely is not enough for a feed. Anyway, in this case, there is no point for me pump anymore. I know, this milk is not going to come back anymore and they are gradually reducing day by day. I can feel it from my two "breast friends".

Last night, Baby Clarisse cried in the night as usual. I know that Baby Clarisse is no longer crying for hunger in the night. She can manage to sleep through the night without any feed. BUT, she sometimes wakes up in the night crying for Mama. Last night, I tried not to breastfeed her and tried to replace it with pacifier. She cried even louder and demonstrated her unhappily fiercefully. I was panic and after 5 mins struggling on the pacifier, I ended up offering her my breast friends, and in less than 5mins of sucking, Baby Clarisse dozed off. Zzzzzzzz 

HOW ??????????????????????????

Formula - 13th December 2010

I have no choice, I am not able to express enough breastmilk for Baby Clarisse's daily feed. Every pump, only manage to yield ONE feed, and Clarisse needs 5 - 6 feeds in a day.

I will need to supplement her feed with Formula. Surprisingly Mama and Baby Clarisse are acting and adapting quite well.

Mama:

I thought I might be emotionally affected for a whole day because I have to feed Baby Clarisse with Formula. Apparently, I was not emotional, I did not tear. I was just worried! I think I was all prepared emotionally since a month ago, and hubby finally said something good to make me feel good - " It is considerably good that you can last till today" - Well, not exactly a good statement, in fact a little sarcastic but at least good enough to comfort me. Anyway, put it this way, formula fed baby can be very healthy and happy too because I will shower my girls with super-duper LOVE!

Baby Clarisse:

She did not reject the formula and she adapted to it. Unlike Chloe, she actually vomited immediately after the feed when she switched to formula. Anyway, both my girls are fed with Enfalac Formula, so far, no major side reactions. My maid told me her poo is good too after Formula feeding. I guess I just have to relax myself and everything will just go well.

I am not putting a full stop to our breastfeeding journey. I am "just" supplementing it with formula. Hahah...Yeah....I like...It is making it sounds NOT SO BAD at all. Well, I am still pumping as much as I could but I would say not much because I can only pump maximum twice a day since I am working woman. I am not just ordinary working woman, I am a busy working woman. Sigh! Anyway, Pump 1 to 2 feed a day, and breastfeed Baby Clarisse in the night and morning - before head to work. I will breastfeed Baby Clarisse until my body/breast or Baby Clarisse tells : "HEY, IT'S ENOUGH!"