Please define IRRESPONSIBLE

I am very sad at this very moment, tears keep on coming with no control. I feel really sad to hear that Mike told my baby that I am an irresponsible mother. How could he? What makes him to have the right to tell my baby that I am an irresponsible mother? What did I do wrong? Simply because he told me that he can take over and I go straight to sleep? My philosophy is that if there is ONE that is awake to take care of Baby Chloe, we do not need TWO to stay awake. TWO to stay awake is called inefficiency and ineffective.

By the way, at this time I really feel that I no longer able to address this person Papa or Hubby for his ugly & unappreciative attitude, therefore I have decided to describe this creature by its name - Mike.

I was on my bed with my dog, getting ready to sleep. I could hear Baby Chloe crying but Mike was out there with her. She was sleeping when I went back to the room, and I left her with Mike while he was reading his newspaper. I didn't know what did he do or what did he not do and made Baby Chloe awake & cried. What he did was yelling and shouting unreasonably to me : what are you doing? Baby Chloe is crying. My hands are dirty, I am reading newspaper. Can't you help?

I pondered a while and started to think what was he trying to imply, he was the one who told me to get back to sleep and he will take over the duty of looking after Baby Chloe. Well, maybe at that time Baby Chloe was already asleep and he felt less stressful. Anyway, I got my butt up from my bed and helped him with the pacifier on baby. Then, Baby Chloe stopped crying as I rocked her on her Pink Sarong. Then, immediately I went back to sleep when I saw Baby Chloe's eyes were closed.

Once again, I didn't know what happened, Baby Chloe started to cry again. I ignored him as I THOUGHT he could handle by himself. And then, I heard he said : Such an Irresponsible mother! " And Baby Chloe continued to cry. Then, I heard he said : COME!

I guessed he must have picked up Baby Chloe from her sarong. I was furious and sad to hear what he told my Baby, I was annoyed when he carried Baby Chloe around, talking to her while she was actually tired and sleepy.

I took Baby Chloe back from his hand, and placed her into her Pink Sarong. Immediately Baby Chloe is calmed down and as I rocked her sarong, she slowly dozed off.

I was very sad to hear what Mike had told my Baby behind my back. I wondered what else he had said to my baby when I was away. I confronted him and told him that he has no right to condemn me in front of my baby, especially condemned me as an irresponsible mother. I asked him what makes him think that I am Irresponsible. He immediately replied proudly with no remorse, " I took care of Baby Chloe every night! "

I was shocked and angry. No doubt, he really helped me a lot during the nights when Baby Chloe refused to go to sleep. But it doesn't mean that I did not take care of Baby Chloe at all. Oh my god, the more I interrogated him and demanded him for an explanation, the more unreasonable he became. He thinks that he is an absolute good father. I started to tear and he didn't show his care but added" YOU SHOULD ENJOY WHILE TAKING CARE OF BABY CHLOE!" This statement sounded like I hate my baby, sounded like I didn't like taking care of my baby.

When I told him that I have tried my best, and I wake up 5am in the morning to take care of Baby Chloe, then pump milk & go to work at 7.30am. He replied that it is my problem, and that I should go to sleep EARLIER.

If I go to sleep earlier who will take care Baby Chloe? If I go to sleep earlier, my life is gone. My only entertainment now is two episode of pathetic storyless Astro On Demand Channel. Of course, facebook while I was expressing my milk. Other time, I am taking care of my Baby Chloe. He cruely replied : This is the way how it should be for a mother. No life! Just Like I do.

I was so angry with his NO LIFE comment. He SMOKED with no consideration of Baby & Me. He drank and came back tiredly drunk sometimes. He can go out and have drink with friends and I never stop him from doing so. He was the one who made the decision to stay back for Baby Chloe. I appreciated his love to Baby Chloe and I am so happy that He is trying his best to change for us. To be honest, from the start, all the changes made were all for Baby Chloe, never for me. I shouldn't even mention "US".

Sad!!! I love my Baby Chloe. I might not be a good mother but I don't think I am an irresponsible mother. I might not be a good mother but I am trying my very best to be Close-to-be-a-good-mother.

Baby Chloe, believe Mama, Mama is trying my best and I love you much. From today onwards, I will take all the night shift to take care of you myself. I don't need Mike at all, even if It means I have to sleep at 2am and wake up at 5am or 6am. He thinks that He's the only one working, he thinks that no fathers out there can compare to him on what he's doing to Baby Chloe, he thinks he's the perfect father.

I believe to be a good father is because you want to be one and you love your baby so much so that you are a good father naturally. It is totally nuisance and ridiculous to announce to everyone that you are a good father while comparing among your friends whom you think they did not help out to take care of their babies at night.

SAD!