Lousy Mama.....

Now, I am sick again.

I recovered on Monday morning and went to work happily. 

On Tuesday afternoon, I felt a sudden pain from the left side and found lumpiness again. As usual, the pain always tag along with his best friend - Mr. Fever. Yes. Fever and Pain is back again. I am taking a whole new & heavier dosage of antibiotic and painkiller for now.

I was a bit annoyed last night, and decided to stop bf. But I was hesitating, and ended up crying because I feel I didn't try my best to struggle it through. However, after a serious consideration, I must stop bf asap. Despite Doctors' confirmation that it is safe for me to feed my baby when panadols and the prescribed antibiotics are taken, I feel too much of these pills are not making my bm any good. Further to that, because of my weak body, I could not take care of Baby Clarisse myself in the night. I need hubby's help (of course, he is more than delighted to do it), and I need to try to keep a distance away from my darlings (even though doctors say my fever is not contagious). Also, I can't work! I have been feeling so sick that I left office early every day.

Anyway, decision has been made. I am going to see my ob/gynae tomorrow and ask for advise to stop bf in my case.

Sorry, darling Clarisse, Mama is lousy. I want you to understand that I had tried my best and I want the best for you. But in this case, Mama has to be a lousy Mama for once. Mama loves you!