September 11, 2009

Seperation Anxiety

5 more days, I will be leaving to Taipei with my friends (without papa & darling Chloe). Excited! Worried! Happy! Sad! All sorts of feelings! This is going to be my second time leaving baby at home for a trip. The last trip was a 4 days trip and this Taipei trip is going to be a 8 days trip. *phew*

Excited because I am going on a trip with my girl friends plus meeting with my old friends in Taipei plus SHOP SHOP SHOP!

Worried because I am not too sure how papa can handle baby Chloe without mama at home. of course, I am sure my mum is gonna help him out BUT my mum is leaving to London with my sis on the 21st Sept which means papa has to handle darling Chloe all alone without any help at all. ** Got la..... Novi & Rahir - my maids.

Happy because I am going to get total 7 nights of sleep without any interruption. Wuahahaha.... Free from making milk , free from rocking the sarong. hahahaha

Sad because I am not going to see darling Chloe for full 7 days. Oh my god, how I can survive... hmm...hopefully the trip is so packed that I have no time to miss darling Chloe. Hehe... No matter how, mama will always miss Darling Chloe.

So, who is going to have this Separation Anxiety - Not Papa, Not Mama - MAYBE darling Chloe. Hopefully papa can cope with Baby Chloe and keep her occupied that she will not cry for me. Baby Chloe is very clingy to me (* I think due to breastfeeding), she is very unfriendly to strangers - even our parents. I love it when Baby Chloe starts to be clingy but it can be very frustrating when you need to get something done and she doesn't allow you to do so. Luckily, Baby Chloe likes my maids too since they take care of her every day.

But lately, I think I rejected her too many times when she asked for me, and many times I just ignore her and let her cry. *I was not being cruel, but it is really very sad when she rejected her mah mah when her mah mah is so eagerly want to carry her. So, just let her mah mah carries her while she is crying lor... Mah Mah also very poor thing because she doesn't get to carry her grandchild in peace. Baby Chloe is very naughty. *sigh* Plus, I was training her to sleep alone at nights, and I forced her to sleep in her own crib, ended up heavy crying nights! I think because of all these, she is no longer excited when she sees me back from work. It is kinda sad, she used to smile and show her excitement by moving her hands, kicking her legs. Now? She would turn her head away if I never call her name! She would rather continue her activity and ignore me totally. So Sad!

Will this trip to Taiwan worsen our relationship? She will not be close to Mama anymore? She will be angry at Mama for leaving her alone at home and never take care of her? My gosh! How How How?

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