Mama is back from Taipei on the 23rd September, Wednesday. Had a great time touring with this group of friends, they are all very easy going and flexible too. Also had a wonderful time meeting up with some old friends in Taipei. Wow! Everyone still looks the same! Their hospitality had filled my stomach with lots of Taipei Famous Food.
Throughout the trip, I missed Baby Chloe & Hubby a lot. But to be honest, I missed Hubby the most because noone helped me carry my stuffs. :P Hehe... It was not so bad at all, I thought I would miss Baby Chloe so much so that I would cry in the night. Perhaps was the well planned itinerary, I had no time to miss her at all. Also, meeting up with these old friends in Taipei made me feel so much younger and I didn't feel like a mother at all at that time. I think because I know that Baby Chloe is in good hands, my maids had the day shift and my mum & hubby had the night shift. So, I guess they just made me feel so comfortable that I do not have to worry about Baby Chloe at all.
After I picked up the luggage, immediately I jumped into hubby's car and told him to speed :P. Haha... Once hubby parked his car into the house compound, without hesitation I quickly rushed in and called loudly "Hi Baby Chloe, Mama is Home!" When I stepped into the living room, I could hear laughter of my maids, grandma & my dad from upstairs. Then, I quickly ran up excitedly, expecting to see Baby Chloe's welcoming expression. However, I must said I was a little disappointed. I was totally ignored as she was attracted to the activities at that time. My dad was trying use his dinner to lured Baby Chloe, and she did not notice my existence even though I was loud.
I called Baby Chloe's name repeatedly until she turned to my direction. The feeling was strange. She stared at me as if she was thinking who was I, she stood on my maid's lap quietly gazing towards my direction for quite a while. I was also stern while gazing back to her. Awkward Feelings, I do not how to put these strange feelings in words. All I knew was Baby Chloe did not recognize me and she took a while to remember me. It was only a 7-day trip. After 1 minute or so, she finally remembered who I was and started to crawl towards my direction. But I must meet Papa's Number One Rule - Take a bath first (strictly no contact!). Well, I had a bad experience with the Influenza case, so I agreed to comply to his rule since it is called the NUMBER ONE RULE! I had a real quick shower because I couldn't wait any longer to hold my Baby. Phew, luckily she still crawled to me when she saw me drying my hair at the corner of my room.
However, the second day when I was back from Work. After I fulfilled the NUMBER ONE RULE, I quickly took Baby Chloe from my Maid, Novi. She was totally comfortable and happy while I was playing with her. BUT, when my other maid, Rahir passed by, Baby Chloe turned her head towards her direction. Immediately, she cried for her. I was puzzled at first when she started crying, until Rahir came over and raised her hands, Baby Chloe whole body was tilted to reach for her. I was stunned and passed Baby Chloe to Rahir reluctantly. I almost wanted to cry and was still in shock! Of course, it is not a big deal to anyone, but to me it was a lost in position. Before I went Taiwan, Baby Chloe would never go to anyone else including Rahir if she sees me. Now? The story has changed and she would ask for Rahir even I was holding her tightly, playing with her. Baby Chloe would not even allow Papa to carry her if Mama is holding her. Now, when Papa claps his hands and said "come" She would move her body towards Papa too. It was worse than a storm at that time, I was totally knocked down. When I tried to clap my hand and asked Baby Chloe to come to me, she turned her head away and hold Rahir tightly as if worried that I would take her away from Rahir. What happened? Just 7 days and Rahir had replaced me! I had the whole 10 pregnancy month plus full 9 months with Baby Chloe, in just 7 days I lost my position! I was sad (even till now) and I felt like crying. It was heartbreaking and I didn't want to stay at the scenario any longer, I moved myself to the dining hall and had my dinner with hubby.
Hubby told me " The fact that cannot be changed is that you will be always Baby Chloe's mother no matter what happened! " I know ! I know! I know! But the drastic change just made me feel depressed. I feel like a stranger to her, I don't feel like a mother to her anymore! Not that I want her to stick to me forever, and I know that somehow one day she will grow up and leave me for her dream. I just need some times to adjust and tune my brain to adapt to these changes.
It further enraged me when Baby Chloe said "Ah Pa Pa", Rahir translate it to "apa?" Rahir pointed at my CooCoo Clock and told Baby Chloe that "See, Bear (Bird)!" Arghhh...... When we told Baby Chloe Papa is Papa, Mama is Mama, she tried to confuse her by telling her" See, Pappy come back! " Or "Go to Mommy" Ya.. I know is the same. I think because I have been overthrown, everything just made me feel uneasy & Jealous! :(
Throughout the trip, I missed Baby Chloe & Hubby a lot. But to be honest, I missed Hubby the most because noone helped me carry my stuffs. :P Hehe... It was not so bad at all, I thought I would miss Baby Chloe so much so that I would cry in the night. Perhaps was the well planned itinerary, I had no time to miss her at all. Also, meeting up with these old friends in Taipei made me feel so much younger and I didn't feel like a mother at all at that time. I think because I know that Baby Chloe is in good hands, my maids had the day shift and my mum & hubby had the night shift. So, I guess they just made me feel so comfortable that I do not have to worry about Baby Chloe at all.
After I picked up the luggage, immediately I jumped into hubby's car and told him to speed :P. Haha... Once hubby parked his car into the house compound, without hesitation I quickly rushed in and called loudly "Hi Baby Chloe, Mama is Home!" When I stepped into the living room, I could hear laughter of my maids, grandma & my dad from upstairs. Then, I quickly ran up excitedly, expecting to see Baby Chloe's welcoming expression. However, I must said I was a little disappointed. I was totally ignored as she was attracted to the activities at that time. My dad was trying use his dinner to lured Baby Chloe, and she did not notice my existence even though I was loud.
I called Baby Chloe's name repeatedly until she turned to my direction. The feeling was strange. She stared at me as if she was thinking who was I, she stood on my maid's lap quietly gazing towards my direction for quite a while. I was also stern while gazing back to her. Awkward Feelings, I do not how to put these strange feelings in words. All I knew was Baby Chloe did not recognize me and she took a while to remember me. It was only a 7-day trip. After 1 minute or so, she finally remembered who I was and started to crawl towards my direction. But I must meet Papa's Number One Rule - Take a bath first (strictly no contact!). Well, I had a bad experience with the Influenza case, so I agreed to comply to his rule since it is called the NUMBER ONE RULE! I had a real quick shower because I couldn't wait any longer to hold my Baby. Phew, luckily she still crawled to me when she saw me drying my hair at the corner of my room.
However, the second day when I was back from Work. After I fulfilled the NUMBER ONE RULE, I quickly took Baby Chloe from my Maid, Novi. She was totally comfortable and happy while I was playing with her. BUT, when my other maid, Rahir passed by, Baby Chloe turned her head towards her direction. Immediately, she cried for her. I was puzzled at first when she started crying, until Rahir came over and raised her hands, Baby Chloe whole body was tilted to reach for her. I was stunned and passed Baby Chloe to Rahir reluctantly. I almost wanted to cry and was still in shock! Of course, it is not a big deal to anyone, but to me it was a lost in position. Before I went Taiwan, Baby Chloe would never go to anyone else including Rahir if she sees me. Now? The story has changed and she would ask for Rahir even I was holding her tightly, playing with her. Baby Chloe would not even allow Papa to carry her if Mama is holding her. Now, when Papa claps his hands and said "come" She would move her body towards Papa too. It was worse than a storm at that time, I was totally knocked down. When I tried to clap my hand and asked Baby Chloe to come to me, she turned her head away and hold Rahir tightly as if worried that I would take her away from Rahir. What happened? Just 7 days and Rahir had replaced me! I had the whole 10 pregnancy month plus full 9 months with Baby Chloe, in just 7 days I lost my position! I was sad (even till now) and I felt like crying. It was heartbreaking and I didn't want to stay at the scenario any longer, I moved myself to the dining hall and had my dinner with hubby.
Hubby told me " The fact that cannot be changed is that you will be always Baby Chloe's mother no matter what happened! " I know ! I know! I know! But the drastic change just made me feel depressed. I feel like a stranger to her, I don't feel like a mother to her anymore! Not that I want her to stick to me forever, and I know that somehow one day she will grow up and leave me for her dream. I just need some times to adjust and tune my brain to adapt to these changes.
It further enraged me when Baby Chloe said "Ah Pa Pa", Rahir translate it to "apa?" Rahir pointed at my CooCoo Clock and told Baby Chloe that "See, Bear (Bird)!" Arghhh...... When we told Baby Chloe Papa is Papa, Mama is Mama, she tried to confuse her by telling her" See, Pappy come back! " Or "Go to Mommy" Ya.. I know is the same. I think because I have been overthrown, everything just made me feel uneasy & Jealous! :(
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