Mama's Diary

I was about to blog about how I managed to put a full stop to the accumulated stress over the last few months. I had a good workout tonight and I thought I had come to a consensus that it is too depressing to be angry and sad about "" who is so insensitive. Furthermore, I realize that my girls need "" so much that I guess the best solution is to forgive "them" and be happy with my blissful life with my two daughters.

Thanks to the great and exhausting Body Attack! However exhausting it is, it only made me sweat like a dog and muscles cramp here and there. The most exhausting moment was the accumulated stress and unhappiness. It is not merely deteriorating my energy but also mental tortures over the whole two months. My girls was sick, I was sick, my helper was sick, I had tonne of works.... No matter how I beg for a short holiday with "", "" decided to leave me behind for "" own leisures. It even put me to a state where I think I don't need "" anymore. "" doesn't care for me, even I cried and begged to follow him with many reasonable options. "" pushed me off by telling me that it is a guy trip and i am not allowed. All I asked to make this exceptional! I didn't stop "" from having drinks enjoying with "" friends weekly. I thought for "me" the special half, he can make this exceptional. But he chose to leave me with my own stress. Talking about it making me tear. :"(

But when I heard my girls called "" , I knew that life is not just about myself, but my family...my girls... I can't be selfish. They need "". There is no reason for me to start a battle as this will definitely not beneficial to my love ones.."forgiveness" is the best solution for me and my girls.

Thank god that everything has come to an end because the cute instructor had drained me out with his Monster attack, screaming, jumping, running, sweat all you want kind of full body workout!!! Love it so much!!!

Can't help it to cry when Chloe asked for "" when I tried to send her to bed just now. She told me she wants "" and she lied down obediently with "" kn bed. It is a happy scnene and I should be grateful but I can't help to cry and feeling sad. It is a sign that I am not a good Mama, and I am so so worried to lose her if anything happen to me and "". I cannot lose my girls... And. They are my everything.

This is my only ground to release my stressful thought. I hope it remain what it supposed to be. I don't mean to defame anyone. It is just my little corner to blog...It contains only my own personal thought. Nothing more. God, please give the greatest power to forgive and accept the life and family that I've chosen for myself. There is no way for me to give up just the determination that I had during the 1-1/2 hours of non-stop workout!! God bless me, and god bless all my lives one.

Unhappiness and nonsense should be sent away, and enjoy the upcoming family event!! It's gonna be busy busy busy month again!! Cheer up, Mama. Be happy is how you lve yourself! Take care. M