September 25, 2009

Papa is away from Home - First Night

Yeah~ Papa is now in Bangkok with his friends. He deserves a drinking holidays with his buddies, besides it is only over the weekend.

Today, I came back from Office. The first thing that I did was to comply to NUMBER ONE RULE, clean myself before in contact with Baby Chloe. After that, I brought Baby Chloe out for a walk outside our House Compound. She definitely enjoyed it, along the way, she clapped her hands many times, and made some noise while swinging her both legs when she saw some birds. Happy Little Princess. :P

I had spent the whole night playing and talking to Baby Chloe without any interruption from Television (Astro On Demand) or Internet (Facebook). Full concentration was all on Baby Chloe alone. I read the Chinese version of Ugly Duckling to her and read her an English story book "Rainy Day". Then, we played with the giraffe (a giraffe toy where Baby Chloe put the colour balls into its mouth and roll all the way down through a twisty slide. - in short - A TOY). Then, we played "standing up" & "walking". Baby Chloe is able to stand by herself without a support, but when she started to clap and she would fall on her backside happily. I think Baby Chloe knows that she is learning and improving every day, that's why she always give herself an applause after she managed to stand on her own. She could walk herself from one point to another point with the support of furniture. Bravo! Keep it up, darling.

I changed her @ 10.30pm and put her to sleep @ 10.45pm with a 4oz. milk (she had a 60z @ 9.30pm), I was surprised that she could actually dry up the 4oz bottle at 10.45pm. :P Hungry Baby! *** She has this little round tummy with her now, lol, so cute! ***

Papa, Mama had a very satisfying night with Baby Chloe. Mama miss you a lot. I don't know the reason and I don't understand it as well - that I didn't miss Papa so much when I was in Taipei, but I miss you so so much now! Have a great time in Bangkok, and we love you!

Mama is back from Taipei!!!

Mama is back from Taipei on the 23rd September, Wednesday. Had a great time touring with this group of friends, they are all very easy going and flexible too. Also had a wonderful time meeting up with some old friends in Taipei. Wow! Everyone still looks the same! Their hospitality had filled my stomach with lots of Taipei Famous Food.

Throughout the trip, I missed Baby Chloe & Hubby a lot. But to be honest, I missed Hubby the most because noone helped me carry my stuffs. :P Hehe... It was not so bad at all, I thought I would miss Baby Chloe so much so that I would cry in the night. Perhaps was the well planned itinerary, I had no time to miss her at all. Also, meeting up with these old friends in Taipei made me feel so much younger and I didn't feel like a mother at all at that time. I think because I know that Baby Chloe is in good hands, my maids had the day shift and my mum & hubby had the night shift. So, I guess they just made me feel so comfortable that I do not have to worry about Baby Chloe at all.

After I picked up the luggage, immediately I jumped into hubby's car and told him to speed :P. Haha... Once hubby parked his car into the house compound, without hesitation I quickly rushed in and called loudly "Hi Baby Chloe, Mama is Home!" When I stepped into the living room, I could hear laughter of my maids, grandma & my dad from upstairs. Then, I quickly ran up excitedly, expecting to see Baby Chloe's welcoming expression. However, I must said I was a little disappointed. I was totally ignored as she was attracted to the activities at that time. My dad was trying use his dinner to lured Baby Chloe, and she did not notice my existence even though I was loud.

I called Baby Chloe's name repeatedly until she turned to my direction. The feeling was strange. She stared at me as if she was thinking who was I, she stood on my maid's lap quietly gazing towards my direction for quite a while. I was also stern while gazing back to her. Awkward Feelings, I do not how to put these strange feelings in words. All I knew was Baby Chloe did not recognize me and she took a while to remember me. It was only a 7-day trip. After 1 minute or so, she finally remembered who I was and started to crawl towards my direction. But I must meet Papa's Number One Rule - Take a bath first (strictly no contact!). Well, I had a bad experience with the Influenza case, so I agreed to comply to his rule since it is called the NUMBER ONE RULE! I had a real quick shower because I couldn't wait any longer to hold my Baby. Phew, luckily she still crawled to me when she saw me drying my hair at the corner of my room.

However, the second day when I was back from Work. After I fulfilled the NUMBER ONE RULE, I quickly took Baby Chloe from my Maid, Novi. She was totally comfortable and happy while I was playing with her. BUT, when my other maid, Rahir passed by, Baby Chloe turned her head towards her direction. Immediately, she cried for her. I was puzzled at first when she started crying, until Rahir came over and raised her hands, Baby Chloe whole body was tilted to reach for her. I was stunned and passed Baby Chloe to Rahir reluctantly. I almost wanted to cry and was still in shock! Of course, it is not a big deal to anyone, but to me it was a lost in position. Before I went Taiwan, Baby Chloe would never go to anyone else including Rahir if she sees me. Now? The story has changed and she would ask for Rahir even I was holding her tightly, playing with her. Baby Chloe would not even allow Papa to carry her if Mama is holding her. Now, when Papa claps his hands and said "come" She would move her body towards Papa too. It was worse than a storm at that time, I was totally knocked down. When I tried to clap my hand and asked Baby Chloe to come to me, she turned her head away and hold Rahir tightly as if worried that I would take her away from Rahir. What happened? Just 7 days and Rahir had replaced me! I had the whole 10 pregnancy month plus full 9 months with Baby Chloe, in just 7 days I lost my position! I was sad (even till now) and I felt like crying. It was heartbreaking and I didn't want to stay at the scenario any longer, I moved myself to the dining hall and had my dinner with hubby.

Hubby told me " The fact that cannot be changed is that you will be always Baby Chloe's mother no matter what happened! " I know ! I know! I know! But the drastic change just made me feel depressed. I feel like a stranger to her, I don't feel like a mother to her anymore! Not that I want her to stick to me forever, and I know that somehow one day she will grow up and leave me for her dream. I just need some times to adjust and tune my brain to adapt to these changes.

It further enraged me when Baby Chloe said "Ah Pa Pa", Rahir translate it to "apa?" Rahir pointed at my CooCoo Clock and told Baby Chloe that "See, Bear (Bird)!" Arghhh...... When we told Baby Chloe Papa is Papa, Mama is Mama, she tried to confuse her by telling her" See, Pappy come back! " Or "Go to Mommy" Ya.. I know is the same. I think because I have been overthrown, everything just made me feel uneasy & Jealous! :(

September 15, 2009

MAMA is going to TAIPEI tomorrow

When I updated my status in facebook about going to TAIPEI for holiday, my brothers & friends are even more excited than I do. They started to comment at my status and envy my trip, then advised me where to shop, where to eat, where to drink..

Needless to say, I am excited about this trip which is very well planned by a friend. I know I am going to enjoy this trip with them. I am also very excited that I will be meeting up with all the old friends in Taipei this weekend. A few Taiwanese friends started to call me and offer me transport to pick me up from Airport and arrange the dinner on the coming Saturday. I can't wait to play with my new investment - Wide Angle Lens & Prime Lens. However, I must say these lenses are kinda burden to me as they are heavy, big, extra care needed. *sigh* Because of the heavy lenses, I have also decided to pack my tripod along. Yeah, I know. I am greedy! Too many purposes for a trip - Photography, Rest & Holiday, Meeting up Old friends, Shopping, Eats & Drinks. Infact, after listing my purposes, I am not that greedy afterall. A  good trip constitute all of these purposes! Right?

CHECK LIST
- Passport  -- checked
- $$$ -- checked
- Mobile Phone -- checked
- Charger -- checked
- Canon 400D & Lenses -- checked
- Charger -- checked
- Clothes -- checked
- Umbrella -- checked
- International Adapter -- checked
- Toiletries -- checked
- Skinny Bitch (A Book) -- checked
- Tripod -- checked
- Extra Bag -- checked
- Chloe Chan -- OMG, I can't pack Baby into my luggage. I will suffocate her if I packed her in. How How How? I miss my Baby so much already. I am feeling hundreds of excitements but I miss her a thousand, a million, a zillion times. Miss Miss Miss so much!! 

Will I cry tomorrow?? I must go now, spend as much time as possible with Baby Chloe even when she is sleeping. TAIPEI, I am coming!

September 11, 2009

Seperation Anxiety

5 more days, I will be leaving to Taipei with my friends (without papa & darling Chloe). Excited! Worried! Happy! Sad! All sorts of feelings! This is going to be my second time leaving baby at home for a trip. The last trip was a 4 days trip and this Taipei trip is going to be a 8 days trip. *phew*

Excited because I am going on a trip with my girl friends plus meeting with my old friends in Taipei plus SHOP SHOP SHOP!

Worried because I am not too sure how papa can handle baby Chloe without mama at home. of course, I am sure my mum is gonna help him out BUT my mum is leaving to London with my sis on the 21st Sept which means papa has to handle darling Chloe all alone without any help at all. ** Got la..... Novi & Rahir - my maids.

Happy because I am going to get total 7 nights of sleep without any interruption. Wuahahaha.... Free from making milk , free from rocking the sarong. hahahaha

Sad because I am not going to see darling Chloe for full 7 days. Oh my god, how I can survive... hmm...hopefully the trip is so packed that I have no time to miss darling Chloe. Hehe... No matter how, mama will always miss Darling Chloe.

So, who is going to have this Separation Anxiety - Not Papa, Not Mama - MAYBE darling Chloe. Hopefully papa can cope with Baby Chloe and keep her occupied that she will not cry for me. Baby Chloe is very clingy to me (* I think due to breastfeeding), she is very unfriendly to strangers - even our parents. I love it when Baby Chloe starts to be clingy but it can be very frustrating when you need to get something done and she doesn't allow you to do so. Luckily, Baby Chloe likes my maids too since they take care of her every day.

But lately, I think I rejected her too many times when she asked for me, and many times I just ignore her and let her cry. *I was not being cruel, but it is really very sad when she rejected her mah mah when her mah mah is so eagerly want to carry her. So, just let her mah mah carries her while she is crying lor... Mah Mah also very poor thing because she doesn't get to carry her grandchild in peace. Baby Chloe is very naughty. *sigh* Plus, I was training her to sleep alone at nights, and I forced her to sleep in her own crib, ended up heavy crying nights! I think because of all these, she is no longer excited when she sees me back from work. It is kinda sad, she used to smile and show her excitement by moving her hands, kicking her legs. Now? She would turn her head away if I never call her name! She would rather continue her activity and ignore me totally. So Sad!

Will this trip to Taiwan worsen our relationship? She will not be close to Mama anymore? She will be angry at Mama for leaving her alone at home and never take care of her? My gosh! How How How?

September 1, 2009

Yoplait Baby Yogurt

I bought these Yoplait Yogurts in a pack of 4 from Cold Storage. There are two flavour - Vanilla & Banana. Baby Chloe still couldn't finish the whole cup of Yogurt, so papa has to finish the balance :P. As usual, she has this very weird looking expression when I fed her Yogurt. However, she didn't really reject it which I think it is a good start.

She is now 9 months and I think I am not introducing enough variety of food to Baby Chloe. She doesn't even like Ribena or Puree that I bought from the supermarket. She still sticks to her porridge. Oh My God, she is a "china" girl, like Chinese food and not western food. LOL. Well, I will slowly expose her to more different kind of food - sweet, sour, bitter and salty - in moderation.

Her third teeth has come out on the 30th August but I didn't have the time to update the teething chart, will try to do it this week. Because of teething, she is starting to bite me & papa whenever she gets the chance. PAIN~~

She is now learning how to walk with the support of furniture around. However, she does not have enough strength to hold too long, usually she would sit down whenever she feel tired. She is getting very very naughty lately. I mean really naughty like throwing tantrum, and show her anger by rejecting me from carrying her. She starts to kick her legs and shake her hands when she is grouchy! When she wants it, you can never say no to her because she is so persistently demanding! *sigh* Papa is the loser most of the time because he cannot bear to see her cry & scream. Mama never wins too because if I scold her, she would have nightmares for consecutive three nights - which is even worse - so I decided to give in to her for NOW!

Baby Chloe is sleeping now, and I should go and rest now before she starts her "nasty" play. Good Night!